what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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