Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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