My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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