His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize