My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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