The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
now i know why i became what i already was.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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