i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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