so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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