Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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