everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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