this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize