now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
false alarm, still single
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize