oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
