I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What a dumb baby whore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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