just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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