i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize