my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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