Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
