What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
