OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
