she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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