Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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