Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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