Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
false alarm. still invincible.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
how do you play pong handcuffed?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
