hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
