I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
