Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize