Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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