Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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