If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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