Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got chris browned last night
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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