ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
