Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
