i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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