I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
