I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize