Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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