So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
