Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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