Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
His nipple licking is glorious
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