this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize