i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
50% drunk capacity currently
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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