This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
