i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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