Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
