The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
