trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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