she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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