I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
