you have to choose: penises or morals?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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