she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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