I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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