Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
