If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i dont even know how to be here
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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