I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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