rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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