I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize