He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
