she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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