Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
vagina is talking i cant
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
