if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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