I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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