god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
