I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize