I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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