White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
