We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Couch. On fire.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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