I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
