we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
