i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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