Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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