I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
